Are you fresh?

We’ll give you the tough love no one else offers up.

expired meat { ik-spird meet }

Definition
Rotten online dating profiles that instantly label you as “damaged goods”.
Usage
I didn’t reply to any messages because their profile’s flavor was like expired meat that chases you around before it kills you with its stench.
Review
- Slaughterhouse: Profiles needing a recall before someone gets sick.
- Butcher Block: Before and after profiles highlighting our services.
- Meat Market: Pricing and delivered elements for our service packages.

Slaughterhouse Butcher Block Meat Market

Even hookers pay us … to pimp their profiles.

Sounds shady, risque, and bold to admit we know. But, if your income / livelihood depended upon your online dating profile delivering results would you accept anything other than the best? And, we proudly serve members of “the world’s oldest profession” because of the challenge to protect against the perception of “damaged goods”.

Slaughterhouse – Recalls

What should you avoid in your online dating profile to not be viewed as damaged goods?

Intro PICS Bio Chat WTF

13%

Men with profile help.

What type of improvement could a simple objective opinion help to boost your online dating success?

Now imagine what could happen if you had a team that doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to achieving your online dating goals.

Review before and after examples

Who shares that your profile stinks?

Most people don’t slow down to offer advice to a stranger when their profile is woefully inadequate. Browse what not to do so you can dodge making similar mistakes.

Pictures drive your online dating success, but these examples might make you cringe.
Bios should be clear, concise, and speak to your audience vs. what these people wrote for their own profile.
Chat with some style can overcome other profile challenges, and it can sink you fast like these examples.

Leverage our efforts to provide examples of what not to do and steer your online dating profile towards working for you vs. against your success. Explore each area for tips based upon science, strategy, and scope. View all slaughterhouse tabs

30%

Women receiving profile help.

Women who get friends to help with their dating profiles.

Profile Picture Nightmares

Few pictures earn this award because our selection process bypasses topical elements to ultimately arrive at the question of “What were you thinking?”.

Challenges: Top 7 Dating Profile Picture FAILS

fuzzy pictures
pictures of other people
not smiling
not relevant pics
inappropriate pictures
rude pictures
pictures etc. etc.

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2020-01-09_1454

2020-01-10_0054

2020-01-14_2115

2020-01-16_0745

2020-01-16_1740

2020-01-29_2023

View Full Slaughterhouse Gallery

Usernames

Nothing says more about you than your username (well, after your photos of course), but most important of all when there’s no pic (like in an email) your username acts as your moniker defining who, what, why, when, where, and how you are.

Top 7 Username Mistakes

Negative
Slang
Numbers
Misspellings
Mean
Desperate
Boring

Being objective regarding your dating profile is one of those things that just doesn’t occur frequently, so the result is profiles that just suck. Take a look at areas and examples we’ve collected to prove the point that sometimes it’s not wise to talk about yourself using your own voice.

Example
BigTastyHoneyBadger
studMuffin154

Problem
Too cocky and animalistic
Are you really going to stand in line behind 153 other stud muffins?

Solution
Be wild, but don’t sound deadly
Find a username without using a string of numbers at the end to make it unique. Be original.

TBD

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Suggest New Examples

Request Item Removal

Butcher Block - View samples of before and after profiles

Can you squeal like a pig? WEEEEEEEE!

We put lipstick on pigs with results

Old adage … how we’ve changed it by using better lipstick … you’re not a pig or ugly literally speaking

Butcher Block – Samples

What level of improvement should you expect from our services within your online dating profile?

Intro Female Male Couple WTF

309%

Average composite increase of views, contact, and dates.

See examples of our services – before and after

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man – Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore.
couple – Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore.

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Summary

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Pictures

Username

Description

Messaging

Results

Before

Summary

Pictures

Username

Description

Messaging

Results

Summary

Pictures

Username

Description

Messaging

Results

TBD

Meat Market - Prices of our products and options

What profile mistakes impale you most?

We’ve messed with the bull so you avoid the horns

we’ve researched many profiles … accepted many from contributors … categorized, grouped, and simplified “what not to do” into easy to follow themes for profiles … you can share in our research so you don’t make the same mistakes as others

Meat Market – Deals

What’s the cost to protect a profile from being considered damaged goods?

Intro Pricing Process Results WTF

$313 to $948

Price range of our team’s services to modify your online dating profile.

Convert / change your profile into sweet meat

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product
pricing
performance

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Photos
$313
Discovery: Initial review, questionnaire, consultation
Organization: Project plan delivery, strategy presentation, customer sign off
Photos: 5 custom picture concepts, photographer finder, photo editing
Description: Custom profile description creation
Messaging: 3 ice-breaker messaging tactics, 9 response options
Multi-Site: Platform recommendations
Networking: Strategy

Photos + Profile + Messaging
$637
Discovery: Initial review, questionnaire, consultation
Organization: Project plan delivery, strategy presentation, customer sign off
Photos: 10 custom picture concepts, photographer finder, photo editing
Description: Custom profile description creation
Messaging: 3 ice-breaker messaging tactics, 9 response options
Multi-Site: Platform recommendations
Networking: Strategy

Photos + Profile + Messaging + Strategy
$954
Discovery: Initial review, questionnaire, consultation
Organization: Project plan delivery, strategy presentation, customer sign off
Photos: 15 custom picture concepts, photographer finder, photo editing
Description: Custom profile description creation
Messaging: 6 ice-breaker messaging tactics, 18 response options
Multi-Site: Platform recommendations
Networking: Strategy

TBD

scope
science
success

Imgs: We don’t just choose / crop images from what you already have, we show you what pictures will work for you and how to get them.

Bio: Everything from your user name to your most minute interests receive custom configuration by our team.

Chat: Enjoy personalized messaging primers that will help you drive the conversation towards your online dating goals.

TBD

Bad profiles - Slaughterhouse Samples of our work - Butcher Block

Tough Love – Open Wide

Have questions, but afraid the answers will chokeslam your ego?

Somewhere in Texas
1-800-WHIFF-IT
Live chat = unavailable. Support is cluckin’ around.

Are you fresh?

expired meat { ik-spird meet }

Even hookers pay us … to pimp their profiles.

Slaughterhouse – Recalls

13%

Who shares that your profile stinks?

30%

Profile Picture Nightmares

2020-01-09_1454

2020-01-10_0054

2020-01-14_2115

2020-01-16_0745

2020-01-16_1740

2020-01-29_2023

Usernames

TBD

Suggest New Examples

Send us mail

Request Item Removal

Send us mail

We put lipstick on pigs with results

Butcher Block – Samples

309%

See examples of our services – before and after

Summary

Pictures

Username

Description

Messaging

Results

Before

Summary

Pictures

Username

Description

Messaging

Results

Summary

Pictures

Username

Description

Messaging

Results

TBD

We’ve messed with the bull so you avoid the horns

Meat Market – Deals

$313 to $948

Convert / change your profile into sweet meat

TBD

TBD

TBD

Tough Love – Open Wide

Step 1: Spot the worst

Step 2: Smell the rest

Step 3: Sample the best

Step 4: Fix us a sammich