Are you fresh?

We’ll give you the tough love no one else offers up.

expired meat { ik-spird meet }

  • Definition

    Rotten online dating profiles that instantly label you as “damaged goods”.

  • Usage

    I didn’t reply to any messages because their profile’s flavor was like expired meat that chases you around before it kills you with its stench.

  • Review
    • Slaughterhouse: Profiles needing a recall before someone gets sick.
    • Butcher Block: Before and after profiles highlighting our services.
    • Meat Market: Pricing and delivered elements for our service packages.

Even hookers pay us … to pimp their profiles.

Sounds shady, risque, and bold to admit we know. But, if your income / livelihood depended upon your online dating profile delivering results would you accept anything other than the best? And, we proudly serve members of “the world’s oldest profession” because of the challenge to protect against the perception of “damaged goods”.

Slaughterhouse – Recalls

What should you avoid in your online dating profile to not be viewed as damaged goods?

13%

Men with profile help.

What type of improvement could a simple objective opinion help to boost your online dating success?

Now imagine what could happen if you had a team that doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to achieving your online dating goals.

Review before and after examples

Who shares that your profile stinks?

Most people don’t slow down to offer advice to a stranger when their profile is woefully inadequate. Browse what not to do so you can dodge making similar mistakes.

  • Pictures drive your online dating success, but these examples might make you cringe.

  • Bios should be clear, concise, and speak to your audience vs. what these people wrote for their own profile.

  • Chat with some style can overcome other profile challenges, and it can sink you fast like these examples.

Leverage our efforts to provide examples of what not to do and steer your online dating profile towards working for you vs. against your success. Explore each area for tips based upon science, strategy, and scope. View all slaughterhouse tabs

30%

Women receiving profile help.

Women who get friends to help with their dating profiles.

Profile Picture Nightmares

Few pictures earn this award because our selection process bypasses topical elements to ultimately arrive at the question of  “What were you thinking?”.

  1. fuzzy pictures
  2. pictures of other people
  3. not smiling
  4. not relevant pics
  5. inappropriate pictures
  6. rude pictures
  7. pictures etc. etc.
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Usernames

Nothing says more about you than your username (well, after your photos of course), but most important of all when there’s no pic (like in an email) your username acts as your moniker defining who, what, why, when, where, and how you are.

  1. Negative
  2. Slang
  3. Numbers
  4. Misspellings
  5. Mean
  6. Desperate
  7. Boring

Being objective regarding your dating profile is one of those things that just doesn’t occur frequently, so the result is profiles that just suck. Take a look at areas and examples we’ve collected to prove the point that sometimes it’s not wise to talk about yourself using your own voice.

  • Example
  • BigTastyHoneyBadger
  • studMuffin154
  • Problem
  • Too cocky and animalistic
  • Are you really going to stand in line behind 153 other stud muffins?
  • Solution
  • Be wild, but don’t sound deadly
  • Find a username without using a string of numbers at the end to make it unique. Be original.

TBD

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Suggest New Examples

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We put lipstick on pigs with results

Old adage … how we’ve changed it by using better lipstick … you’re not a pig or ugly literally speaking

Butcher Block – Samples

What level of improvement should you expect from our services within your online dating profile?

309%

Average composite increase of views, contact, and dates.

See examples of our services – before and after

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Summary

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Pictures

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Username

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Description

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Messaging

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Results

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Before

1
1

Stand up against “tankassaphobia”

Summary

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Pictures

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Username

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Description

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Messaging

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Results

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1
1

Stand up against “tankassaphobia”

Summary

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Pictures

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Username

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Description

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Messaging

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Results

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1
1

Stand up against “tankassaphobia”

TBD

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We’ve messed with the bull so you avoid the horns

we’ve researched many profiles … accepted many from contributors … categorized, grouped, and simplified “what not to do” into easy to follow themes for profiles … you can share in our research so you don’t make the same mistakes as others

Meat Market – Deals

What’s the cost to protect a profile from being considered damaged goods?

$313 to $948

Price range of our team’s services to modify your online dating profile.

Convert / change your profile into sweet meat

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  • product

  • pricing

  • performance

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  • $313
  • Discovery: Initial review, questionnaire, consultation
  • Organization: Project plan delivery, strategy presentation, customer sign off
  • Photos: 5 custom picture concepts, photographer finder, photo editing
  • Description: Custom profile description creation
  • Messaging: 3 ice-breaker messaging tactics, 9 response options
  • Multi-Site: Platform recommendations
  • Networking: Strategy
  • $637
  • Discovery: Initial review, questionnaire, consultation
  • Organization: Project plan delivery, strategy presentation, customer sign off
  • Photos: 10 custom picture concepts, photographer finder, photo editing
  • Description: Custom profile description creation
  • Messaging: 3 ice-breaker messaging tactics, 9 response options
  • Multi-Site: Platform recommendations
  • Networking: Strategy
  • $954
  • Discovery: Initial review, questionnaire, consultation
  • Organization: Project plan delivery, strategy presentation, customer sign off
  • Photos: 15 custom picture concepts, photographer finder, photo editing
  • Description: Custom profile description creation
  • Messaging: 6 ice-breaker messaging tactics, 18 response options
  • Multi-Site: Platform recommendations
  • Networking: Strategy

TBD

  • scope
  • science
  • success

Imgs: We don’t just choose / crop images from what you already have, we show you what pictures will work for you and how to get them.

Bio: Everything from your user name to your most minute interests receive custom configuration by our team.

Chat: Enjoy personalized messaging primers that will help you drive the conversation towards your online dating goals.

TBD

TBD

Tough Love – Open Wide

Have questions, but afraid the answers will chokeslam your ego?

  • Somewhere in Texas

  • Live chat = unavailable. Support is cluckin’ around.

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